We all have that thing we did when we first started a hobby (if it even remained a hobby after that first wretched disaster…), and I have several of these things laying around as reminder of how not as sh*tty I am these days, haha.

This is me getting ready to embarrass myself with my collection of sh*tty lathe disasters. (The bowl on the lathe in this picture is not on the list, thank God…instead, I’ll be showing it at the Harrodsburg Oktoberfest this weekend. Click here to check it out on Etsy.)

Sh*tty Bowl Numero Uno

This is the first one, the “Oh Wow! I made this thing with something I hope was a bowl gouge and oh well if it flew off the lathe a few times but Yay for me, it’s a bowl!” Made out of wood labeled “yellowheart,” this was my first attempt at turning anything that didn’t look like a spindle (and I say look like because there were some ratty “sticks” that were supposed to be spindles early on, too).

This bowl is not just sh*tty but sort of embarrassing, like the time someone tried to kiss me in an elevator at the public library in 7th grade and I ran out as soon as the doors opened because I got freaked out and was officially lame-o socially for the rest of the year after the boy told everyone. I keep this bowl around though. Kind of like reading an old journal from the middle school years. It reminds me why I’d never want to go back there, haha. Sorry, Shane.

Not so much a sh*tty bowl but a hickory tragedy. Damn…

Wow, this little piece o’ sh*t bowl [above] also was made out of hickory and  represents a sad, sad attempt to microwave wet wood and then try to use wood stain to cover where it LIT ON FIRE. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, it lit on fire. Thankfully nothing else did in the process. But this is an ugly little darling I keep around to remind me to never let this sh*t happen again.

These are a few rejects and/or disasters. Three would-be bottle stoppers and a sad busted pen cup. The basswood stopper on the top left was just meh, so it’s been sitting there for a while, the oak burl bottle stopper in the center has a major crack and a worm hole in a not-awesome place, and the cherry bottle stopper has a massive worm hole down the center that looks like it just had open heart surgery. Then there’s the pen cup… Chewed up through a series of unfortunate events, I pulled this out of the burn pile just to show you. I don’t want to keep this one around. The memories of our “break up” are too painful.

And, last but not least, above is a bottle stopper that looks so phallic my wife was embarrassed that I would even think of selling it. And this wasn’t even the worst one. There was a purpleheart bottle stopper that a family member said looked like a penis with an STD. ‘Nuff said.

So the lesson is this: No matter what your craft or hobby, save some of the old sh*t you screw up, because later you’ll have a better appreciation of where you are in your endeavors, and if anything, you’ll get a good laugh. And if you always do everything perfectly, then just send me an e-mail and I’ll send you one of these gems so you have even more to appreciate in life. 🙂

Thanks for stopping by!